benjaminfoo.com

i m back

yes , intern is finish, time to be active again on the posts

will start mayb tomorrow. today is recuperation times. ^^

revolution is at hand

my intern is finally gonna be over.

dreadful memories would soon be gone

and new beginnings are right in front of me.

though still don have much for this blog, gonna start thinking of things to do here.

today is a friday, and i m gonna relax and relax ~ ahhhh~ sweet serenity.

just not good enuf for u.

emotional breakdown

i guess.

i reached a point

where i m broken~good riddance

oh google.

drowning. suffocating

mixed up feelings.

There was a huge storm last night. It struck hard and fast


All because of the bed bug, the fatigue.

I couldn’t remember the times when I could go sleepless for days.

The stress of life is catching on.

I feel pissed at the system we have.

Whoever said that it was important to look professional at your own office is a total idiot

Whoever thinks that wearing formal would make u look professional is stupid

A con man is able to swindle his way in and out of people’s purse most victims would say

“cause they looked smart , that’s all”

All because we were told that professionalism comes from appearance at the dawn of the industry age

Back to the sudden storm,

I didn’t noe what had triggered it, nor do I noe how to stop it.

I knew nth of this, yet it is my fault.

I m not perfect nor am I pursuing to be perfect.

If I could be anyone in the world, I just wanna be myself

In my intern times, I realize that the world is really full of shit ideals and shit philosophy

U noe why? Cause the world is full of swindlers,

The politicians, the lawyers, the adults, the judges , the ones that say everything.

And its cause of them that we are trap in this looping life.

They were smart, the created the rules, they made the book that can’t be broken.

And many people followed them, because they thought they needed organization and from then on u noe what happened?

World war 1, world war 2, the gulf wars, the racism, the sexist, the oppressed.

Because someone smart said so in the beginning and majority followed and therefor we have these so called rules.

The storm laid still. It slept, I dunno what to do I feel so lifeless, so constricted by the stress I m upholding, its negative stress that I m storing, I feel like jumping off a building. It’s a hell hole here.

22 more crap shit days , before tis session of intern is over, I m suppose to learn and yes I did, but it wasn’t pleasant at all. Too much unwanted heat. Limited breaks. 7 days a week, office hours 8.30-10 , if we are lucky 8pm.

I feel more useless den ever

Sports carnival coming, I m sitting on the bench tis time, I noe I m worthless cause I cant contribute. That’s just a pathetic prick in my heart

I pissed u off, I noe. I m sorry for that

It’s ok if u wanna vent ur anger I m weak now. I have no more strength in me.

Sorry

Taipau

salt , sugar and spice. neh~