Living it day by day.



Saturday, March 13, 2010

the window, reminiscing the past , love my mom.


its raining outside, raindrops falling on the window dripping down silently as it washes away the dust on it.

the line has been disconnecting a lot recently, leading to an uproar among students here.

students here above 60% of them wish that they were back in hometown. but most of them for the wrong reasons.

many students here in kampar stress that they wanna go back to their hometown because they miss home, they miss their parents but yet onli a few speak the truth , tis fact is so true that actually the number of students not goin back hometown actually misses their parent more den those who go back often yet they claim they miss their home and parents

then here is a reality check~

basicly these students ARE NOT goin back to visit, they just treat their so called home as a hotel to stay as they go back to meet up with friends, to shop, to club, to play. its so freaking true that many actually made plans 3 weeks back just to come back on that date to go out.

they claim they miss starbucks, they miss the city, the technologically advance areas of malaysia. the malls, the cinema . so caught up in these luxuries and comfort that they become sluggish and ultimately become a brat , a snobbish stubborn complaining brat. if i were to become like that. my past self would come and beat the living daylight out of me and thats a fact.

u see that window up there? outside it is a small field of grass , across it is a series of single story terrace houses and beyond that a beautiful view of the vast horizon. the sun rises from the right side of that window , above the mountains. and the right side it sets . the lake isnt that pretty but as i walked to campus the other day, i learned to appreciate the little nature thats left around here. because soon as i leave when i graduate its gonna gradually be modernized. an action that many people salute and agree to. but i don really think so. its too fast , so fast that like cancer soon we will destroy tis once peaceful place.

Many people think that because UTAR was built here it gave kampar a reason to live , a reason to be upgraded, well u hav to think do u actually think they need it? do they actually need tis ? i think not. we are the ones that are gaining so much from here. obviously u would not hav notice if u are being stubborn and closed. u wouldnt realize what i m trying to say here because ur heart doesnt feel it, u don welcome it. and u will nv get it. unless u take away those city slicker thinking and start feeling the atmosphere around here.

mayb its because i m poor, i nv god mcd or kfc till i was 15, a slice of pizza was like diamonds to me back then. we didnt look at star bucks or dunkin donuts. we nv could, nike and adidas? names that are far from our hearts. but yet i do not whine because i loved my life. the simplicity of being content of wat i had. My mom raised me and brother up single handedly. and yet i still hav not been able to pay her back. i owe her too much to be paid in a thousand lifetimes. mom really suffered a lot for us. sleepless nights, low pays, hunger pangs. critism from the family. she took it all for us. and now its my turn to protect her. to take her under my wings.

one day i will tell her i m sorry , sorry that i didnt make her proud of me. i wasnt able to achieve good grades for her to brag to others, or achieve national level awards to make her happy. i m but a humble and loser son. and i wish one day i would pay all this back and more. i don wanna let her efforts go to waste.

i feel sick to the stomach now, its at its limit, i cant take it. when students here whine and complain. there is always something for them to bullshit.

takin out money, use for nothing, lousy service, no standard,no choice onli come, my last choice.
and so much more, i said it many times, no one wants to hear ur crap. tell it to ur parents, ask them for that extra 40k to study somewhere else, probably the same standard anyway. anyone smart enough to peel a banana would hav figured out that standard arent that big a difference anywhere . its u who makes the standard u noe. how else do u think the universities are rated , its by ur exam results and co curicular activities u dumbshit.

as for the money part, u obviously haven used the library much rite? or mayb the coms in the com labs are too low class? that shelter from block to block nt stopping u from getting wet? that new blocks didnt make the place less congested? u think the constructions are made from cheap lego toys? figure it out ur self. UTAR too small for u? go overseas la. think throughly before u let immature crap out of ur mouth pls.


well, u suck too. u are so stuck to ur comfortable lives that u arent able to adapt well? is it that bad without ur gsc and malls and mcd and starbucks or espirit and clubs? well i don see u dead yet, open ur eyes and realise it. that tis place is not bad at all. u must hav nv had a hard days work before, and NO! standing around as a promoter at a shopping mall promoting vitagen is not an idea of hardwork. try shifting crates under the hot sun at a cargo bay without shade, thats hard work . yours is a walk in the park


oh puhlease, don bullshit me about low standards when u cant even speak proper malay or english, or even understand an english pun or lame jokes. u cant even put up with me when i speak 0.1 % faster in english. ptui!

i mock the very core of ur so called coolness and rebelious behaviour.

thats about it. facebook sure is crowded nowdays.

take care


ps. i really miss mom and bro , and min as well. sigh.


_VeL_ said...

Your post made me feel 'zi bei'. I'm looking down on myself. I used to whine about the life I had and still whining of the life I'm having here.

I should really learn to appreciate more. Not enough with what I'm doing now. Thank you!! You made me feel I should be more grateful. =)

Take care.

benjaminvai said...

awww man. i didnt mean that. i just saying wat i think de ma. haha

but if really make u feel more motivated den good also la.

noe that u are somewhat overseas alone.

take care too! ^^

benjaminvai said...

btw, don feel zi bei and down on your self, onli i can do that to myself,

things will also be better. :D

hui min said...

hav u noticed d birds r getting lesser compared 2 last year? around 5.30pm there used 2 b a huge group flying across eastlake but d group gets smaller ad~

hmm, if d library is 2 far u can alwiz stay in d comp lab (block b and d) its a regulation dat any comp in any labs provided nobody is using d room 4 teaching any1 can go in n use it. and some of d comps r rily gud cos dey r meant 4 IT students~

Anonymous said...


Nic said...

a very good post indeed.. *thumbs up*

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