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Friday, January 1, 2010

2010 ei? a 2009 short plug

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as the year ended and tis will be my 1st post of the year.

i would to wish every one a happy new year and may all ur resolutions come true. :P

well, 2009 was eventful me

i think i just gonna say out wat ever i think

started the year nicely, had CNY, and the semester was kinda smooth sailing, den i got dumped, long story short, i wasnt good enough.

same story every single time, i always screw up.

its not a matter of being negative, i m destined that way,but i m determined to break it, i found a new gf, one who loves me, and one who i love , someone special and caring, u noe who u THM.and after that it was a great last part of the year, winning tourneys and competitions, havin a bunch of friends that stick to me. great group mates and class mates and course mates who are always patient and nice to me. great to have met all of them.

never regretted coming to kampar.

and now for the things i found out , not just recently but throught out my life.

i have great friends, i always had the luck of meeting nice peoples, kindergarten to primary to secondary and to uni. i hav oni a few nasty ones, but all in all it was a pleasure meeting and knowing all.,i realized i m vy lucky. thank u! cause i noe i hav bad habits, which i do not know to describe but deep down i know it wasnt nice. i learnt sometimes i don belong in some places anymore, sense of belonging is something we created but yet we must preserved, as time goes by, i find myself slowly fading from the mainstream, without knowing, i wrapped my self in a bubble that i couldnt pop. exaggerating? no la, its just a feeling one gets when he feels that he has nothing in an area somemore.it could hav been so many things, how the eyes look unto me, how it scans through my deepest heart, how i talk and how they talk to me, the feeling that there is a gap,certain things that i m not involved in anymore. i mean i m still part of it, but yet there is feeling, slight annoying feeling, that i m not, completely existent nor influential anymore.

its probably my rantings, from some where in my heart. i looked at the mirror and saw a certain blankness in my very eyes. how creepy that feeling was.

but yet, it was partially my choice to disappear, yet i missed that sense of belonging which i would most probably onli yearn for it to be back. its been like this 4 years .Would i ever be back anymore? i hav yet not now

so happy new year again all.!

good nights

taipau!

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